A Franciscan, a Dominican and a Jesuit are transported back in time to the Birth of Our Lord. The Franciscan, seeing Almighty God become a little Child, is overcome with humility and joy. The Dominican, seeing the eternal Word become flesh, is transfixed in ecstasy.
The Jesuit takes St. Joseph and Our Lady aside, and asks: “Have you given any thought to his education?”

During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out.
The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat. The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers. The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God’s gift of darkness. The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a signification of the transmission of divine knowledge. The Carmelites fall into silence and slow, steady breathing.
The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.

Two novices decided to ask their superior for permission to smoke a cigarette while they prayed. The first asked, but was told no. A little while later he spotted his friend smoking. “Why did the superior allow you to smoke, but not me?” he asked. His friend replied, “Because you asked if you could smoke while you prayed, and I asked if I could pray while I smoked!”

A young man is thinking of becoming a Catholic priest, so he goes to talk to his pastor about the different religious orders. “What can you tell me about the Dominicans?” he asks.”Oh, they were formed in the Thirteenth Century to combat the Albigensian heresy,” the priest replies.”And the Jesuits?””They formed in the Sixteenth Century in response to the Protestant Reformation.”The young man looks puzzled. “So what’s the big difference between them?”
“When was the last time you saw an Albigensian?”

An Augustinian, a Franciscan, and a Jesuit all die and get to heaven. Jesus asks each one, “If you could go back, what would you change”? The Augustinian ponders a while and says, “There’s so much sin in the world. If I went back, I’d try and stop people from sinning so much.”The Franciscan thinks a bit and says, “There’s so much poverty in the world. If I went back, I’d try and get people to share more of their wealth with the poor.”The Jesuit looks at Jesus and quickly replies:
“If I went back, I’d change my doctor.”